How to Embrace Traditional Wedding Etiquette in a Modern Way

Traditional wedding etiquette is still prevalent in modern society. We all want to have a wedding day full of our traditions and follow common traditional wedding etiquette. However, a few of these etiquettes can feel silly, outdated, and even a bit sexist in modern times. This post will discuss wedding etiquette and how we can embrace them in a fun, contemporary way.

Traditional Wedding Custom Asking For The Bride’s Hands in Marriage

 It is a traditional wedding etiquette to ask for the bride’s hands in marriage. In today’s world, asking your partner’s father for his permission to marry your partner before you ask your partner can feel like a profoundly sexist notion. 

Instead of asking the father of the bride for his permission to marry his daughter, why not let the entire family know of your intention to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage? This is an excellent way to straddle the line of asking for permission and telling the family of your intentions.  

The family will appreciate the gesture, and they will not feel left out of the loop. On the other hand, the traditional wedding practice of asking the father for your partner’s hands in marriage will have been modified to fit our modern times. 

Giving Away The Bride

Traditional Wedding Photo of Father Giving Away The Bride

Traditional wedding practices dictate that the father of the bride must give her away to the groom. This is another one of those traditional wedding etiquettes that are plain silly and outdated. What if the bride doesn’t have a father? Could her mom give her away? How about her brother, grandmother, or both mom and dad? 

This traditional wedding custom of the father giving away the bride has deep sexist roots that many modern brides won’t necessarily feel comfortable with. Nevertheless, if this is an important tradition to you, then, by all means, incorporate it into your wedding. 

The key thing to remember throughout planning your wedding is that nothing is mandatory. Your wedding should be uniquely you, and you are not obligated to do anything that doesn’t reflect your values. I have photographed many weddings where the bride’s mom gave her away, or both mom and dad gave her away. 

Covering the Cost of a Traditional Wedding

 In general, for traditional weddings, it was up to the family of the bride to cover the cost of the ceremony and reception. Still, in modern times and with growing wedding prices, this seems ridiculous. It’s only fair that each party pays what they can and that the wedding cost falls within these means. That way, everyone is happy.

Seating Plans – Another One of Those Traditions 

 According to a traditional wedding, the bride and the groom will sit at the center of a table. The immediate family members will sit to the right and left of the bride and groom. My own wedding was like this. I didn’t give it much thought then, and I think I speak for the guys when I say most men really don’t care much about traditional wedding seating arrangements.

Seriously though! Whichever way you chose to arrange your seating, it will be just fine. Don’t get coerced into implementing some traditional seating arrangements that you dislike. Remember you will only be getting married once. You want to have a wedding day experience that you will relive in joy forever. 

First Look a Modern Wedding Practice 

Non Traditional Wedding Photo | Couple’s First Look

 Traditional wedding says it’s bad luck for a groom to see his bride before the wedding ceremony. But more and more couples are shunning this ancient belief and seeing each other before they tie the knot at the wedding ceremony. 

Incorporating the first look into your wedding has several advantages besides reducing wedding day stress. A wedding day first look can improve your wedding day timeline. 

For a wedding with sunset ceremonies, incorporating the first look is a great way to ensure that you get some beautiful couples photos in good lighting. The photos created during the first look are generally the photos selected for the wedding album and for wall prints for your home.

Dump The Bridal Bouquet & Garter Toss

 I can’t tell you the number of weddings that I have photographed, and I could literally feel the tension in the bouquet and garter toss. The bouquet and garter toss are traditional wedding events. For the bouquet toss, the bride will toss her bouquet in a group of unmarried ladies. The person who catches the bouquet is said to be the next person to get married. 

The garter toss has a similar connotation to the bouquet toss. The groom must first remove the garter from his wife’s leg then toss it to a group of unmarried men. 

You can see how these wedding traditions can quickly become offensive or uncomfortable to some people. The process of removing the garter frequently borders on the explicit side of things. Definitely not an event for the modern couple. Furthermore, today’s couples don’t want the added pressure of been identified as unmarried or the next to be married.

If the bouquet and garter toss is a must for you, then, by all means, incorporate them into your wedding reception. Just because they are old fashion and outdated doesn’t mean you and your guest can’t enjoy them. Just know that there are plenty of alternative events should you choose not to include these traditional wedding events in your reception.

Have questions? Let’s connect here.

If you like this post, you may also be interested in these other posts:

8 Old School Wedding Traditions You Can Skip

4 Wedding Photography Styles Every Bride Should Know!

First Look Wedding Photos | What Every Bride Need to Know

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